Child marriages

On Saturday I went to Shopper's Stop, an indoor mall with metal detectors and security, A/C and shiny floors. An exact replica of an American department store but for the extra attentive attendants and salvars instead of prom dresses on the mannequins. Don't get me wrong, you can actually find a mini version of Forever 21 turning around the corner, with comparable Indian brands advertised above each section. Bypassing the mini skirts and halters, I sifted through the racks of mass produced brand name salvars, I instinctively seeked to find the salvar clearance section. Unfortunately, that part of American shopping hasn't quite reached the department store just yet. It was odd to see bulk salvars rather than the one unique piece standard "free size 40" which I am used to seeing in most of the stores you go to here, upscale boutiques and showrooms included. All of a sudden, the lady walking down the street could have the same exact salvar you're wearing in a different size. I tried hard to refrain from humming the tune being played overhead, 98 degrees - Invisible Man, a song I hadn't heard since high school, in my continuous efforts to appear "local" and avoid being fleeced. I decided to give in however, when I realized, this was not a place you bargained your prices down or walked out on merchants unwilling to negotiate, only to wait for them to chase you back to make the sale. It was truly American style, the price tag was the final price. Quality was good, brands were well known, and they knew it. Service was present, but there was no personal investment behind the friendly smiles. I breezed through the departments and walked out empty handed. Converting prices, I quickly realized that once again, my price expectations were far too low. Bangalore was big now, and it was booming, as were prices. With a plummeting exchange rate, it becomes even harder for me to shell out the cash for something I expect to pay far less for. I'm in India! Things are supposed to be cheap!!
It was too early to go home so I flagged down an auto and asked them to take me to Maya Deep, a recommended store I had written in my notebook. The driver gave me a headshake (note: different than a head bob) denoting that he had no clue what I was talking about. Happy enough that I found a hindi speaking driver and figuring i would just find it after getting in the vicinity, I asked him to take me to a shopping spot in 4th Block. After my blatent exploitation during the auto ride of the day before, I determinedly insisted on using the meter to prevent being ripped of once again. Despite trying to outsmart the driver, after what felt like going in circles and 30 Rs later, he dropped me of to an indoor/outdoor swap meet of sorts. In contrast to yesterday's shopping adventure, I saw vendors selling everything from vegetables to puja supplies, fish for dinner to rugs. I bought a few small miscellaneous things and even haggled some, though I'm sure I probably still overpaid. Failing to locate the elusive Maya Deep, I decided to walk around to see if I could find it myself. I walked blocks going in and out of stores, passing by delicious fruit carts, determined to avoid them like the plague, though the fresh cut pineapple was close to impossible to refuse. I found myself at the infamous Priya Fashions where Mami and I end up going daily for altering something or the other. I went and checked on my work orders which, I wasn't too surprised to find, was going to be ready after 6pm. I decided to call it quits and take an auto home since I had an idea of where I was now and my stomach was getting the better of me. I was refused once for some unknown reason and was finally taken in by the second auto that I hailed down. Aside: I'd like to see how hailing a cab in NYC compares to getting an auto--there is no stepping off the curb since there is hardly a curb, and you basically throw yourself into the street with the hopes that it's vacant.
I came home and sat down to some fantastic lunch as usual - R(Khadi)BS and fought the food coma and nap in the hopes of getting a continuous night of sleep tonight. After many ins and outs of jewelers and book keepers for my aunt, Chandrappa took us to Priya's Fashions to pick up our alterations. Once more, I was denied and told to come back tomorrow for my order though Mami's was ready. We were tempted back into the store and started looking at "One Stitch" material that was "wash and wear" no ironing required. I bought one and took it next door to get it made. Dazzled by the plethora of necklines and backs available to be made, I decided to keep it simple and maybe work up to the fancier styles later. I was ecstatic to find some bandini material for chania choris in the store adjacent while I was waiting for my measurements and decided to come back to get blouses made for those as they were at a price close to what I was paying for salvars! We'll see how this tailor does with my chudidar before I give him a blouse to make. I went back to the car and heard what I thought was music. Mami informed me that it was the Muslim "mias" doing their evening prayers as we were near a Mosque - it sounded beautiful and soothing. We continued on to Mami's doctor's office, a small house, converted to a clinic with chairs outside on the porch as well as more inside. I don't quite know why there were people sitting outside where the mosquitos were abundant and there was no fan to keep them cool but we went inside and sat near some magazines. On the walls were posters about feminine health, pregnancy, and numerous posters on diabetes and it's complications. There was a mini shrine on one of the walls which, in stark contrast to America, does not label this a religious clinic. It is completely normal for stores and services to clearly announce their religious affiliation which is far different from the secularism in the United States. We finished up there and headed to the Pharmacy, "Druggist and Chemist" to fill her prescription, a hole in the wall store that was lined with cans of deodorants and other mini mart commodities. There is no filing system or records. The shop simply looks at the script, gives it back to you, and fills it for you, in less than 10 minutes. I am still baffled by the ease of procuring medications here. Since the pharmacy doesn't keep the script and has no record of dispensing it to you, you basically can get anything you want as many times as you want, without a prescription. Sunita ben says drug abuse and fraud haven't made their way here yet--maybe after it does they will have to have tighter control on meds. We made our way home avoiding the heavy traffic by taking side streets and came across some scooterers that were making U-s and popping wheelies. Mami ordered the driver to stay far behind them as they were clearly trouble. We got home and Mami's 16 year old ex-cook came to visit her and bring her a Sari. He recently went home to Rajasthan to get married, leaving his wife there for the traditional year before he can bring her back to his home in Bangalore with him. He had been arranged to marry her from childhood and had apparently said no but ended up marrying her at the end. He spent over a lakh rupees for the week long wedding, and will have to work hard and multiple places to pay for it. He stood at the doorway awkwardly and spoke briefly, as it is not expected that he would be offered a seat. He gave Mami a sari gift before he left, surprised as I thought he would be the one getting gifts for his wedding...that was sweet of him no?

Blending to avoid exploitation

On Friday I decided to just get up and go. I donned my salvar and Bata shoes and prayed I wouldn't get caught in a freak storm. After 3 failed attempts, I procured an auto driver for Rs100 who took me into the city to Commercial Street, the "downtown" of Bangalore. I found I quickly got distracted by the side alleys and after much wandering, I managed to find myself in some unknown alley with a gorgeous Church at the end. I was pleased to find only a few vendors asking me where I was from...my disguise was working! I was blending and hopefully passing off as a local who would not be fleeced! I haggled prices down on most of the items I bought but I could hardly have passed off as a bargainer. After a tiring day on the streets, avoiding motorbikes and autos, mud puddles and dirty ditches, I decided to head on over to Caperberry on Dickenson Road, recently opened by Shruti, one of my NAFL school friends from when I was living here 13 years ago. I found an auto and asked him to take me to her place which, according to the map, should only have been a few minutes ride. The driver was a Muslim man who not only spoke Hindi but knew some gujarati as well. I was excited and started talking to him which I quickly regretted when he claimed the address was farther than originally quoted and increased my rate from Rs30 to 50! I wasn't about to argue or walk out of the auto at this point so I shelled it out and went to find Shruti. I found her debriefing her staff in a meeting and waited for her in her lounge. The place was gorgeous, clean, and modern. It would have passed off as an upscale American bar if I hadn't known otherwise. The bathrooms carried American brand sinks and the paper towels were stacked neatly in a basket. The full bar had bright blue lights beaming from underneath and the lounge had gold and silver centerpieces next to a stand with a flip menu featuring the specials. We talked about our lives and she told me about her recent projects. Coincidentally, her family has worked with the Deshpande Foundation through Vidya Poshak, an NGO that supports a finishing school of sorts to help with job placement. Apart from working long hours at her newly opened restaurant, she was also heavily involved with her family's new venture: housing for under privileged children around Bangalore and a new school that the children could attend for free, subsidized by fees paid by the other 80% of the students. Their work is inspiring and reminds us of what one person can really do and help. Her parents would have been perfect Global Impacteers in their time! She also told me about the new alcohol curfew of 11 pm, hurting her business a bit but newly enforced because of the increase in drunk driving incidents. There are breathalizer check points she has to pass now every night on her way home. I cannot start to imagine what a drunk driver would do in the streets of Bangalore! The streets are hard enough to maneuver in the daytime, lanes that no one follows, horns honking for no reason and impossible to tell who it's directed for, and pedestrians crossing the streets at their own risk as crosswalks and lights are far and few in between. Some intersections and circles don't even have lights or stop signs-cars inch forward and scooters swerve last minute, trying to avoid collisions and traffic jams. After what seemed like barely enough time to catch up, I made my way to Mahendra Uncle's to drop off some Splenda sent by our family friend. After insisting I eat something, I finally convinced them I had to get back before it got too dark and I would risk getting completely bitten up. After procuring me a trustworthy auto driver and taking his number down, they let me go. The driver knew the area but not well--he was surprisingly VERY patient and after circling around in the dark, I was relieved to finally find the house and end my adventure.

Tumba Chennagi Eede

I learned an important phrase on Thursday, (object) toomba chennagi eede - Like (object) alot. This was an important step in communicating with Savita. Although I had been told that she knows neither English nor Hindi, I continued to attempt talking to Savita in Hindi. I wanted to clean my bathroom and clothes and of course Mami told me to just tell her to do it. Problem being of course, I don't know how. I pointed to my clothes, said bathroom in an indian accent, she nodded but a day later, bathroom was still dirty and clothes hadn't been asked for. Houston, we have a problem. I was convinced Savita resented me although all I did was stay out of her way, cleared my own place, and was really low maintenance. Then, she made oopma on the morning of Thursday and I could not get enough of it! I asked Mami how to tell her it was really good and she told me and I told Savita. She beamed. Breakthrough! After that, I told her what I liked after every meal and she appreciated my attempts at Kannada as I learned more phrases and words. Around noon, I accompanied Mami for her one week follow up for her cataract surgery. Chandrappa was with Mama so we could either take an auto or Mami could attempt driving with her dark glasses...as there were dark clouds out, Mami decided it would be better for her to drive, especially since I was there to help her out! I asked her if she was joking. Fortunately, her driving was fine and we went to the Eye Hospital, well praised by Mami for their customer service, cleanliness, and organization. They had people mopping the floors continuously and staff daftly pulled extra chairs in and out as the crowds filled and emptied. They had pre-screening rooms with optometrists before sending patients to the doctor's office downstairs. As we watched the American video overhead, describing various eye conditions and treatments, I looked around the waiting room - looking like an American facility with glass doors, clean floors, and uniformed receptionists and nurses. Despite all of this though, right in front of me were black scuffs and marks all over the white staircase side which I could not help being distracted by. It was amazing how a little white paint would have completed the clean look, but was somehow overlooked.
That afternoon, I went shopping at Big Bazaar while Chandrappa went to fix the tire puncture. A 4 story market, a few American products were available in all the departments - beauty, shoes, and even a Staples easy button in the stationary section. I cannot imagine who spends Rs 200 on a big red button, but if it's there, it must sell! I bought a few things, most importantly 2 bottles of repellent lotion, Odomos, the first bottle of which had a dead fly on it...live advertising? or should I say..dead? Chandrappa met me outside and then took me to Bata, the biggest Indian shoes brand to find some India worthy shoes. He was my personal bodyguard as we walked from one store to the next, following behind me by a few steps. I felt like I should let him catch up with me but he seemed like he meant to stay behind me. I don't quite understand and am not used to this master/servant relationship. I try to make them do the least possible for me and minimize their inconvenience. However, Mami keeps reminding me that this is their job, they get free food and housing, and the more we do, the less they do. I guess you have to be firmer when you're living that lifestyle...I would probably make a bad "maam." Sometimes, I even want to do the dishes because I unfortunately, miss it. It's amazing how affordable help is here though. For less than 100USD/month you can hire a live in maid who does the sweeping, mopping, cleaning, answers the phone and door, and all types of other miscellaneous jobs. For a few extra hundred rupees, she'll cook for you too. It's tempting when you think of what you can do with all that extra time...

Unprotected

Wednesday Mami took me to my first store, a 30 second walk away, no joke. Angadi Silks was owned by a friend of hers and the minute I walked in I knew I would probably leave empty handed. The showroom was beautiful, equipped with a lift and gorgeous stacks of saris and salvars lining the walls. The prices reflected the atmosphere and I walked out with one kurti top. Later that day, Mami took me to Priya's Fashions, her regular store with good material and decent prices. On the way there, we saw a lady in her 50s riding a bright pink scooter with her sari flowing in the wind. I wish I could have taken my camera out faster but it was truly an unexpected sight. Unfortunately, I didn't get a chance to go get mosquito repellent and the current repeatedly went out at Priya's Fashions. To add to it, the "trial room" was their storage closet which housed a few mosquitos as well. Unprotected, I walked out with 4 salvars and 16 mosquito bites. That evening, as we watched the IPL, big cricket tournament, my jaw dropped when I saw an ad for Unprotected-72, the Indian version of Plan B for only Rs 60! Unbelievable. Like it or not, Bangalore, along with every other big city, is truly becoming westernized.

Nannu bengalaru nali eede

Yes, I am in Bangalore! I arrived on Tuesday, 2 days after leaving LAX. I walked outside and was greeted by drivers holding signs with the names of their guests lining the gate. I never thought I ption "could be that happy to see my name in hot pink being held by, true to the description Mama gave, "dark, husky, with moustache" in his email. Sounds scary but the guy is truly harmless. He gave me a cell phone that Mama had gotten for me and took me to the van. I had my first trial with my limited Hindi talking to him in the car. As my third language, and his 2nd or 3rd as well, it was quite interesting to hear us try to communicate. Living in Karnataka for the next few months however, I can't expect much more. I should have picked up "Learn Kannada in 30 Days." In dire need of a shower, I arrived to Mama and Mamis house to eat my first meal, Pani puri!!! I had told Mama that I wanted pani puri at SOME point, just didn't expect it to come so quickly! Savita, the maid had recently learned how to cook. Unlike Chandrappa, Savita only knows Kannada so communication is quite interesting between us - It consists of series of smiles, nods, and hand gestures. Despite mami claiming I don't eat, I just taste, I feel like her good cooking and my lack of housework is going to make me gain weight instead of lose as planned! Mama ordered a scale he teases was just for me and asks me every day if I've weighed myself. I think I should soon. I run up and down the stairs a few times a day but after weighing myself, I may need to intensify the exercise regime. I went up to my room, fully equipped with a Western style bathroom and shower, as well as a powerful ceiling fan and double bed. The rest of the day consisted of sleeping and eating and fighting jet lag, only to be woken up at 3 am by intense thunder and vivid dreams of Kermeka sleeping in a bed next to me...? I could have sworn I heard her rustling and was utterly confused as to what was happening...I blame it on my anti-malarial, Larium, and the hallucinogenic precaution.

Just say YES!

I was fortunate enough to fly Singapore Airlines, with delightful staff, personalized tv screens, and amenities galore. The meals were decent and the water was free! (I was appalled at United when they only offered water for sale). International flights are held at a different standard but Singapore Airlines and Singapore airport do impress. I was also very fortunate to swiftly clear multiple swine flu screenings, immigration, and received all my luggage in one piece with less than 10 minutes of waiting at the baggage claim belt! I also had an empty seat next to me for 11 hours of the journey and then the entire row free from Tokyo - Singapore - Bangalore! My lesson in gratefulness begins now! During the flight, I watched numerous movies among which was Yes Man. Assuming it was a comedy as it stars Jim Carrey, I was surprised to find an important message that hit home for me: Say yes! Jim Carrey's character starts off as a man who declines many opportunities and prefers to stay at home. Although recently, I have been becoming more of a 'Yes,' the movie shows how many opportunities one can miss out on by declining on activities deemed a waste of time or unworthy. Of course, in the movie, Carrey's character exaggerates, saying yes to everything and putting himself in unfortunate situations, but the lesson of the movie is clear and speaks to many: Just Say YES, you never know what you'll be missing out on otherwise. With one of the goals of this trip being a growing experience, I am truly taking this to heart and seeing where it will take me!

Global Impact meets Deshpande

My team and I will be in Hubli, Karnataka installing an SMS network between hospitals and rural clinics to facilitate communication and increase efficiency of health care workers. I was fortunate enough to be part of a group of innovative minds across all curricula at USC to join in the common purpose of social entrepreneurship called Global Impact and funded by the Deshpande Foundation Grant. We will be dorming in the BVB Engineering College for 2 months during which we will initiate and implement our sustainable project, hopefully being able to see it grow and thrive before we bade it farewell. (see SMS journal for more info on project, Lena has written an excellent description!)